Here’s my story . . . see if you can relate. About a year ago, I hit a major “burnout”. My life felt out of control, and I felt like I was failing at everything I tried to do. You could even say I felt a bit hopeless. If you’ve ever felt this way, you know how exhausting it is to carry on day after day without being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Finally, one night, I sat down with my husband and just let it ALL spill out. All of my frustrations, all of my disappointments, all of my unmet expectations for myself, all of the things I felt obligated to. Being the wonderful person he is, he sat and listened to me for a long time. When I finally ran out of steam, he said, “Aimee, you’re doing this to yourself. You need to throw away your lists and start living your life.”
At first, his thoughts made me angry, but as I let his words sink in I realized he was right. I was putting everyone else’s needs and wants before my own, to the point that I was very close to a complete breakdown. From that night on, I have been working to simplify my life, cut out the excess, and learn to focus on the things that REALLY matter. Here’s what I’ve learned so far.
1.If I don’t take care of myself FIRST, I can’t really take care of anyone else. I’ve learned to listen to my own wants and needs, and accept them as valid. I’ve learned to treat myself with kindness and patience, and I’ve discovered that, contrary to what I may have thought, I’m a pretty alright person after all!
2. I’ve learned that people are more important than projects. Relationships need to be nurtured, they don’t “just happen”. I’ve learned to relax my expectations for some of my household tasks in order to be able to put in the time necessary to nurture the relationships closest to me.
3. I’ve learned how to stand up for myself, to recognize my strengths, weakness and limitations. I’ve learned how to say “no” to things that don’t fit with my vision and goals for my life, and I am learning to not feel guilty about that!
4. I’ve learned that doing things I love helps me become the kind of person I want to be. I’m rediscovering hobbies that I haven’t paid attention to since I was a kid (think adult coloring books . . .), and I’m finding SO MANY more things that I want to learn about! In short, I’ve learned that learning new things is one of the most energizing experiences I can have, and I’m learning to make more time for educational experiences.
Today, I’m feeling much less crazy and overwhelmed, but I know there are still LOTS of things for me to learn! I’m so excited about that, and I’m excited to share the things I learn with you.
